Ru Paul's Drag Race - Float Your Boat

I guess when they were taping the show last year they didn't know the groundhog would see his shadow and push Spring back a bit, so this Spring Break themed episode comes awkwardly early, but then again, when has Ru ever done anything normal? What I thought was going to be a throw away episode (judging by the promos) turned out to be one of the best yet.

They begin the episode by attacking Willam asking if his tears were real. I believe they were. "I wouldn't have cried ugly." God I love this man.

Ru is going to give them a break. A Spring Break. The mini challenge is a wet tshirt contest. They have to wear a breast plate and a Ru Paul tshirt. More shameless self promotion for himself on a show that already has his name in the title. Hah! Ru you never cease to amuse me.

Spring break at Dragtona beach. I tried to pay attention to the contest, but Shawn was so distracting! Also my friend Jared Jones' remix of Sexy Drag Queen was in the background. I did notice Phi Phi being a hot mess. Oh well. It's not like she hasn't won every other mini challenge ever. Instead her biggest rival Willam wins. What is she, like second in winning mini challenges? She must be like the duchess of it or something. I duno.

What is this? I don't even.

Ru announces that they have to make pride floats along with their own outfits. It all has to be Pride centric, which given their colorful backgrounds wasn't too hard to do. On the runway, they will have to wear the boats as accessories, donned in arts and crafts, and they are limited to one color, given out by the winner of the mini challenge. Willam assigns them their colors with her eyes closed to be fair, but of course there are conspiracy theories when Jiggly quickly announces she hates orange.

The girls discuss how important Stonewall was, having a deep discussion about their forefathers... while Jiggly eats glitter. And right after she gets choking on the second worst thing she's ever swallowed, she gets ripped to pieces by Ru. This is just not her day.

Phi Phi reveals that she came from an abusive household and moved to Chicago to escape it. I feel for her ever more now. She is a human being. Lay off her, guys!

Not sure if it's ahoy or just a ho.

My favorite part of the episode was the f-bomb montage. They all seem to have potty mouths this season. This lead into another amusing bit. I guess that Willam and Jiggly got jealous of all the attention the Phi Phi/Sharon fight got so they decided to make their own caddy fight. It may have been less epic, but it was far more interesting in that Willam made a lot of boat puns, I guess.

MORE SEXY PIT CREW BOYS!

Chad looks like a super cute showgirl. I Love the head piece. Dida continues to get cuter and cuter. I think she has finally realized that it is a competition and she's gotta bring it. Jiggly comes out looking... A hot mess. She has way too much on her boat and her outfit looked bad. Luckily for Milan, she looked awesome and had big beautiful hair to distract everyone from her horrible boat. Sharon looked amazing. She was theatrical like usual, but she brought beauty to it this time as well. My favorite look for the episode.

Look, guys! A picture of Sharon on my blog!

Latrice looked like a fierce octopus queen. Willam looked quite sexy and dropped anchor on stage, but she didn't focus much on her boat which might have got her in the end. Phi Phi's look wasn't spot on for me tonight, but she had the best boat.

It is finally time. It is time to reveal who Kelly Osbourn thinks has the most amazing body every. The culprit - Willam! Hurray! One of my icons is on Team Willam, too!

Willam finally wins! I'm ecstatic. "It feels correct to win". Screw the haters! On the other hand, the bottom two consisted of Jiggly and Milan. Honestly I wasn't too emotionally invested in this lip sync, but it was Milan's third time in a row to be in the bottom. And Milan ripped his wig off and peeled his outfit off. Again. Go home. And she did.