Drag Race Season Five Cast-Off Roundup Part Three

Once again, there is no new episode... well there was, but they didn't feature me on the fan section so I won't be reviewing it.... well they did feature Isis and Coco, two queens I absolutely love... You know what? Ain't nobody got time for that.  Instead, I offer up another installment of the Cast-Off Roundup, wherein I compare my first impressions of the girls from their initial cast interviews to how they actually did on the show. Let's go through the list of undeserving sashays, shall we?

Let's start with the queen of all queens, Alyssa Edwards.

"The one everyone is calling a Teresa look alike from Real Housewives of Jersey Shore, and I can see why, Alyssa impresses with her looks from the get-go. Let's hope she's a whole lot less crazy than Theresa. This girl may look like a Jersey girl, but she's straight out of Texas. She spends most of her time talking about her family, making her interview a bit boring to most people. Hey, at least she looks fierce doing so."

Oh, Alyssa. I love you so, so much. You tried so hard to make peace with Coco, who should have been sent packing far before, but due to the drama fueling the ratings, she got to stay. Honestly Alyssa should be in the top 3, but that's life, I guess. I have to say the bit about calling her boring was FAR off the mark. Those faces she makes combined with her always looking fierce really set her apart. Bitch better tour around my parts, ya hear?

Next is Coco Montrese.

"This one reminds me of Dida a lot -- not the Dida I initially hated, but the Dida I came to love over the course of season four. This girl is serving some fish on a platter. She was very intense without being over the top while talking about herself, which made me really like her. She mentions liking to sing, which means we can expect a single from her coming out asap. She has a catchphrase "Oh no, its a compliment." apparently, and she likes to go bald. Bitch, lemme see that wigless look!"

Ok so everything here is wrong. She turned out to be an annoying brat for most of the show. We NEVER saw her bald. She was terrible at the singing challenge. She never used her catchphrase. It was all pretty moot. And you know what? I honestly think some of the girls she lip synced against and sent home (Namely Alyssa and Monica) were more on par than her. I guess it's politics.

Finally, we have fourth place crazy ass diva Detox.

"We all know her as Willam's friend, but who really is Detox? Her makeup is atrocious in this, and her dress is not flattering to her what so ever. She also is a bit over the top crazy, which is starting to concern me here. She also says she's high fashion, which I haven't seen as of yet. She is very self centered, which could end her up being one of my favorites, but I am not feeling this interview what so ever."

Confession time: When I wrote my impression of Detox, I was honestly just getting pretty angry that this season of Drag Race was shaping up to be RuPaul's Best Friends Race (seeing as you have Willam's friend Detox, Sharon's boyfriend Alaska, and Lady Bunny's friend Ivy), and I honestly think I was a bit harsh. She is very talented, and has a lot of heart that she was able to share with the viewers over the course of the season. My mid-season picks had her placed in the top three, but fate was not on her side. She will be remembered and loved forever, and the sales on her singles with Willam will triple.

There you have it. Most of these girls had me do a 180, which just goes to show that you can't judge a queen by her busted promo. Can I get an amen? Wait, Ru isn't going to come at me for stealing his catchphrase is she? Bitch has like forty. Share one!