Drag U Tue - 80's Ladies

This is it. The final episode of RuPaul's Drag U season two. In true RuPaul style, the finales just get bigger and bigger every year. This time around, he's landed three very famous 80's women to get themselves made over and also show a more human side to them than just performers. I really hate to see this show end already, but that just means we are one step closer to Drag Race season four! So why don't we get started?

Carmen is still stuck in fish mode from the last episode.

These ladies may not be in the public eye much today, but back in the 80's, they were the hottest things around. Jane, made popular by being the guitarist from The GoGos, was given the name Chiffon Brule and the professor Morgan. Downtown Julie Brown, a former VJ for MTV, was dubbed Donatella Mewhatodo and paired with Shannel. Stacie Q, singer of the famous track "Two of Hearts", was renamed Savannah and coached by Carmen Carerra. These girls are certainly in the best of hands.

I have to start out by saying I now am madly in love with Carmen. I think she may have seen her actions in Drag Race and decided it was time for a change. Who knows? But in Drag U, she is amazing. I've always liked her style, but her personality, previously that is, just turned me off. Now she is a sweetheart. She is still, however, an airhead. When Stacey mentioned someone with a "Congenial" problem, she asked what happened to the guys genitals. Carmen showed her soft side again, comforting her student when she talked about her best friend and hair stylist who passed away 22 years ago. These tearjerker moments always get me!

The lady lesson this week was... interesting. Instead of teaching them stuff, Lady Bunny decided she wanted to become Oprah and show off some of her favorite things. Being the crazy lady she is, she showed them things like the "hot bod" shirt, much like what Detla Work wore in the comedy challenge on Drag Race. Another device was a bra that you could put booze in. I really have to wonder sometimes how sane Lady Bunny is. At least she's funny, right? Moving on.

Dance class was by Tony Bassil. I know, I know. It's time again for me to complain that my hot boys arent here. Damn, I wish that at least for the final episode they had brought them back, but oh well. Maybe Andre will be back for the next season. The dance was to RuPaul's new song "Superstar", which isn't a surprise. Ru is known for his shameless self promotion in Drag U, which is part of the campy charm this show has.

Aren't they supposed to be talking them out of bad 80's fashion?

Morgan and her girl Jane were the spotlight of the show for me. Jane is just so adorable and peppy, I can't stop watching her. She has an adorable voice, and is always in a good mood. I was really proud of how she pushed herself so hard and didn't even complain. She apparently had a hiking accident a while back and messed up her knee. Despite this, she rocked the runway and the dance. Morgan served as a very good support system, always keeping her going. The two worked very well together.

Shannel. Oh, Shannel. I really was surprised to see you in the finale. Shannel has been in this show more than anyone else (well, maybe not more than Raven), and I really can't decide if I like her or just want her to go away forever. She always looks amazing, but her personality falters at times. She can be really into herself, which as a drag queen isn't a bad thing, but in the context of the show is not how things need to be done.  She was very understanding, though, when Julie didn't want to go for the dragulator look. Instead, they decided to go for a glamorous diva look, and it really did work in favor for her.

Before I knew it, the final draguation was here. This will be the last time (at least for a year or so) that I get to see three amazing women turn it out, drag style, on the runway. First up was Jane. Her look was phenomenal. She was a total dominatrix with leather and bondage influences. I loved the wide laced fishnets and the ponytail. Julie, my favorite of the three, came out in a beautiful gown, a much different image from her dragulator "rocker chick" look. Her skirt was floor length, but partially see through, and made for an amazing dress. Finally, Stacey rocked the runway in a feathery outfit. I didn't like the dress much. It looked very busy and unfocused. Her hair, however, was amazing and even had some cute rhinestones in it.

After a fun dance segment and the judges' deliberation, we find out that Julie won. I thought it was a good note to end on for the show. She really did make the transformation from boring mom who hadn't been out in years to glamorous queen. Plus, Ru accused her of stealing his style -- in jest of course!

Bat those lashes, ladies!

The final drag tips is what I viewed as a peace offering. It featured both Jujubee and Raven, who, throughout the series, have flung so much shade at one another. Today, they worked together to make up for that by giving everyone tips on how to properly put on fake lashes. In the end, they stood together with their lashes on fluttering away. But we all know they went right back to being shady as soon as it was over with.

And that's all she -- err I -- wrote. Til next season!

Drag U Tue - A Family That Drags Together

This season of Drag U keeps on surprising me. Just when I think the show is winding down it throws me a curve ball and gets me hooked in again. This week's episode was very special. The families of three of our favorite drag queens came on the show to be made over to be just as fierce as their brothers/sons. This week RuPaul proved that families that drag together, do indeed stay together.

Behold Manila's twenty nipples!

This episode featured Susan, dubbed Falconetta, Jujubees shy and reserved sister, Rachel, given the name Lark St. Laurent, Manila's already quite outspoken sister, and Deshawna, AKA Ladyhawke Raven's core Christian values mother. Let me tell you, the family resemblance is striking -- even without all the makeup. These women really need a style boost, and they are in the right hands for the job.

The tension between the girls and their families was outrageous at first. We had Raven, who's mother not only insisted on calling him by his boy name, but also had never been around him in drag before. Manila's sister Rachel was feeling neglected. The biggest shock for me, however, was Susan. She and her brother were very close at one point, but something happened.

The first teary-eyed moment in the show was between Juju and Susan. We know from earlier episodes, as well as Drag Race, that Jujubee's father passed away. The three of them were very close. What we didn't know, was that right after he passed away, Juju's mother left with another man, breaking their family apart. Seeing the two of them discuss it and try and make amends was touching. I can really feel for their situation; I know what they are going through. I can only hope the best for the two of them.

The Lady Lesson this week was hilarious. They learned the art of padding. The real kicker was Raven giving her mother bird seed boobs (complete with nipples). The others focused on butts and hips, making the illusion of being really skinny. The sassyness of this episode is impossible to describe. They all had so much to catch up on and yet it felt like they had all been together forever. The rapport the sisters developed was hilarious, and even Deshawna learned a thing or two from Raven.

No, Juju isn't drunk again.

Deshawna and Raven surprised me the most out of all the girls. We learned during the course of the episode that she once disowned her son. They were from a strict Mormon family, and that was definitely a no-no. Over the years, her mother relaxed and began to accept her for the man-woman she had become. Drag U was the final step in that process to finally be accepted. Near the end of the episode, Raven teared up, thanking her mother for finally coming to terms and renewing their family bond. How sweet!

Tears aside, Deshawna was probably the fiercest mom I've ever seen. She was serving up some shade, which is exactly what Ms. Raven is famous for. The two of them hatched a plan to annoy Juju, and with that the Raven Show was off hiatus and back into the spotlight. This time, she and her co-star Ladyhawke, decided to mix and match all the shoes to make it difficult for Juju to find anything for her sister. And as if having a sixth toe on one foot wouldn't make that hard enough!

The dance lesson was one big blah for me. Neither of my sexy deans were there this time around. Hopefully we'll get to see Andre one last time before the show ends. He was such a cutie! I really have nothing left to say here.

Manila and her sister were quite the pair. They had been very close when they were younger, but not so much now. The drive behind her sister wanting to be better than her was finally revealed late in the episode. Apparently she has had a feeling of being left behind. She said her sister never was in the mood to see her or hang out with her, and she was never invited to the drag shows Manila put on. Manila said she didn't realize those things meant so much to her sister and vowed to correct them in the future.

Before I knew it, Draguation was here. Susan looked fabulous. She had a very shiny dress and some crazy diva-fro hair going on. Her confidence level went through the roof!  Rachel had a freaking Icecream hair clip! That is so Manila. In fact, she looked just like Manila -- which isn't a bad thing at all. She had a very colorful and poofy dress on. She was definitely my fave! Deshawna was the weakest of the group, but not bad by a long shot. She had an interesting asymmetrical dress on. The only thing that didn't work for me was the hair.

In the end, Deshawna had the best transformation and she draguated with top honors. Despite my critiques, I still loved her look. All of the girls looked amazing this time. I don't know how the judges were able to pick just one. I really do think Raven deserved the win this time. She is fierce, and so is her mama!

She pronounced it "Cuh-cumber". So cute!

The Drag Tips this week are brought to you by fan favorite Ongina. She gave us tips on how to use cucumbers effectively... as something other than a sex toy? Anyway, apparently you can use it to tighten cellulite and even to make your eyes less puffy. Who'd have thought?

Drag U Tue - Mama Mia, I Need Help!

Week after week on Drag U, we see women's lives get changed. We see people connect with others and come out of their shells. That's what it's all about. Despite all the things I post about the show, it's more than just an excuse to see our favorite Drag Racers. Drag U is about regaining confidence and becoming a better you. Now that I've said what I needed to, please allow Pandora to wake up your vagina!

This week's gals are three moms who need a lot of help. Michelle, paired with the fabulous Pandora Boxx, is convinced that to be a good mom, you have to be boring! Alicia, Morgan's student, spends every waking moment with her daughter. Anna, left in the care of Bebe, goes through great lengths to hide her many tattoos from her kids and peers. Needless to say, these full-time moms need help!

I was actually glad to see Morgan back. I really didn't get to know her too well in Drag Race. She was always paired with Raven, which I believe worked to her disadvantage greatly. She didn't have her time to shine. Thanks to Drag U, those of us who can't make it to her shows can see her shine on her own. She did a very amazing job of encouraging her student. She made her yell about her being the queen of Drag U and even gave her a whip to make her feel powerful. The trend of the "ice heart" queens showing their softer side is something I adore. Raven helping his drag mother in season two, Raja giving Stacey her "Heathers" necklace -- Its all so surreal and charming!

Bebe is a character I just don't know how to take. Mind you, I got into Drag Race half way through season one, and I never quite understood Bebe. She always looked fierce, but I didn't connect with her, exactly. It finally hit me in this episode, though, who she really is. She connected with Anna on such a personal level that it is unreal. Anna was upset about her tattoos and scared to show them. She was reassured by Bebe that she is who she is and she is beautiful. Isn't that a recurring theme for drag in general? So many people are put off by drag; they think these men are wusses and just want to be females. Most of the time that isn't the case. They are artists. Anna had no more reason to be ashamed than they did. "What other people think of me is none of my business" is one of the RuPaul quotes I live by.

The Lady Lesson this week was all about making housework sexy. Lady Bunny gave a few tips on how to accomplish this. She said they should do household chores in heels... and make bedazzled aprons? Sometimes the thought process of Bunny scares me. Anyway, they all made their fiercest looking... aprons, and I guess learned a lesson about what's sexy? I dont know.

Pandora's girl gave her a bit of trouble in this relatively drama free episode. Not only could she not walk in heels, but she also ended up twisting her ankle. It was at this point that Pandora stated "I lost quite enough on drag race. I am not loosing this competition!" and I totally agree. I wasn't counting her out just yet, but I felt bad for her. Pandora always does so well but is often overlooked or criticized by the risks she takes. Oh well. I still love you, boo!

Of course, yet again Andre is missing from the dance segments. Jamal was here again this week, and he made them do some pretty funny dance moves. Inspired by their frustrations with their uncooperative children, he made up several unique motions. We had the "Pick Up Your Toys" and the "Clean Your Room", both of which, scarily enough, I've seen used by my mother in fits of anger. Fun, no?

Things wound down at draguation. Alicia's look was ok. I have never been a fan of animal print of any kind, and her hair and earrings were a bit too much for me. That skirt looked amazing and well crafted, though. Anna honestly looked like a second Morgan. Similar makeup was used and the plaid half-suit-half-dress thing going on was something I could easily see her in. My favorite was Michelle. She pulled out all the stops in her dress and dance. She had a bad ankle and she still turned it out.

Michelle ended up winning. I was torn. I thought she looked and did the best, but the show is about transformation, both mentally and physically, and I thought the one who embodied this the most was Anna, but I'm not going to complain too much, because Ms. Boxx FINALLY won! Yay!

The drag tips this week were with resident Asian lady Jujubee. She was giving out tips on where to stash your stuff when you dont have a pocketbook. Put your money and ID in your heel and keep an extra tube of lipstick in your cleavage. Somehow that girl always ends up drinking. At least we can rest assured it was Absolut!

Drag U Tue - Like a Virgin

This post comes a bit later than usual, mostly due to the fact that my ISP decided it would be awesome to do some really annoying updates RIGHT when the episode was posted on Logo's website. Uhg. Anyway, before I get carried away on a rant about how terrible local service is, lets jump right into this weeks Drag U!

These ladies should really stop making such hilarious faces. I'm gonna get 'em every time. Anyway, this weeks theme was virgins, and trust me, there was a reason these girls hadn't gotten any. Raven's student, Christina (AKA Candy Wrapper), had never been kissed. Megan, given to the care of Mariah (and named Smokey St. James by the Dragulator) graduated from Harvard and spent the rest of her days behind a computer desk. Sally, paired with Juju, can't think of a single thing to be proud of in her life. The professors really had their work cut out for them this week.

This weeks lady lesson was rather uncomfortable for me. It was all about lady scaping. I try to avoid talking about man scaping as it is. I really don't need to know what your lady bits look like, or what style wig they've got on. The amazing Lady Bunny showed them some rather comical example of how they could style themselves including: The Landing Strip, The Bermuda Triangle, The Rising Sun, And... The Wifi? Apparently Raven had full signal in there. It probably would have been less awkward if Megan hadn't have gotten her inspiration from her sweater.. oh and if Lady Bunny had remembered to shave her chest hair! Gross!

 

 The antics in this episode were above average for the series. Raven's constant battle against, well, everyone, continues in this edition of The Raven Show (Seriously, she is in nearly every episode!) as she steals, yet again. God, I love the bitch but she goes out of the way to create drama. She took Juju's earrings and hid them. Much to everyone's surprise, the winner this time was actually Mariah, who took them for herself. There were a few arguments over how much skin to show and the startling revelation that Jujubee is really a man. Who'd have thought that on a show about drag queens?

I was ecstatic to see that Andre had returned for this episode's dance segment. He is still adorable and now is rocking a killer mohawk. He is adorable, and if I got him a visor, we could have some really awesome Star Trek role play... and suddenly this review got really awkward. Anyway -- Cuteness aside, he really is a good dance instructor, and this routine is the best I've seen yet on Drag U. We ended up having a bit of a problem when Sally began complaining about her ankles. I wanted to sympathize with her, but I just couldn't force myself to do so. A lot of queens go through a lot of pain to look like they do, so she should have just toughed it out. 

Soon enough it was Draguation. Sally looked a bit of a hot mess. Nothing really seemed to be working 100%. The dress was unflattering, the wig didn't fit her well. It was a mess. Megan looked quite put together, with a bit of a Victorian look thrown in there. My favorite, though, was Christina. Her look was red hot and she had some amazing hair to match it. She had the most confidence and the best dance moves. But alas, the curse upon me is that my favorites rarely ever win, and the title was given to the less confident Megan. I guess I cant be too upset. She was good, just not the best in my opinion.

To wrap it all up, we had Morgan McMichaels giving us tips on the unusual uses for petroleum jelly. Apparently you aren't supposed to use it with condoms though. Morgan looked really hot in this. I can't wait to see more of her in the show. And PUH-LEASE! Where is my Pandora Boxx? Four episodes in and she's had a total of ten seconds of screen time. You are wearing my patients, show!

Drag U Tue - Lesbians Gone Wild

After taking a break to watch the fireworks (and probably make some of their own) Drag U has returned in full swing. This time around we have some overly butch lesbians going back to school to learn how to be amazingly fabulous and get back in touch with their feminine sides.

Julie is our first ladylover and is quickly paired up with Jujubee. This girl hasn't worn a dress since her highschool prom. AJ, a self conscious girl hiding under layers and layers of clothing, teams up with Raven. Skyler, a -- wait. That's a girl? It looks like a man. A hot man. Oh lord. Anyway, Skyler goes with Ongina. It looks like we are off to a great start.

Julie (Calamity), AJ (Thunder), and Skyler (Scorpio) pay a visit to the Dragulator as per usual and then are shuffled into their first lady lesson with Lady Bunny, but not before Ongina proceeded to list off all kinds of synonyms for boobs. Their lesson is in finding the perfect bra. Being a gay man, I could care less about knowing how to configure a bra size, so I spent the majority of this segment on twitter rambling off about music and whatnot. I did come back in time to hear Raven exclaim about how amazing AJ's tatas were. And girl did she prove it when she revealed her corrected bra.

After a few hilarious impersonations by Julie and an extended scene about how Skyler hates every wig in existence, we finally move onto the dance class. The song of the week is Bootylicious, a song that they believe will bring out the sexy in these girls. Honestly, from the clips they showed, I don't think any of these girls needed to be shaking their jelly, but then again, editing always makes things look worse than they really are, right? Right!? Either that or Skyler was just too distracted by how hot the teacher was to dance accordingly.

Oddly enough, I'd have to say the highlight of the episode was definitely the continuing catfight between Jujubee and Raven. Their first fight was over how to walk properly, wherein we discovered Juju is a hoodrat and Raven was rejected from the Real Houswives franchise. In the second fight, Juju tricks Raven into giving up her ring by saying she stole it. I have always loved Raven, and her random drama-for-no-reason instances make me giggle.

Draguation came sooner than I had expected and the girls were all dolled up. Julie looked like a gangster wife straight from the fifties. Not exactly the most flattering colors, but it worked for her. AJ came out wearing a tux-dress, showing off her nice tots (and was that a Mimi ImFurst wig?). Skyler, the most shocking transformation, came out as a Rihanna impersonator -- and a damn good one at that. In the end, AJ won. I was satisfied with the end result. I loved Skyler's look, but her attitude remained the same. AJ showed more of a dramatic change, overcoming her fear or showing her chest and her negative self image.

Wrapping things up, we have Pandora Boxx giving us drag tips on what all you can do with Hair Spray. And DAMN isn't it about time she actually got to be showcased on the show? I've been waiting and waiting to see my favorite queen on the show. And who knew that hair spray could save panty hos?

Also, anyone else think this week's Dean of Dance looked like Carmen from Drag Race season three? Maybe I'm crazy.

Drag U Tue - Bringing Sexy Back

Hello and welcome to the first installment of my weekly review on my second favorite television show -- only second to the wonderful Drag Race we've all come to love. Drag U is an uplifting show where previous Drag Race contestants come back to mentor biological women and give them the fierceness of drag queens, boosting their self esteem as well as their sex lives. Without further ado, I present to you, Drag U Tue: Episode One.

In this installment of Drag U, we are shown three women who view themselves as ugly. To correct this injustice, three certified drag professors are sent in. Lisa, an excessively negative housewife, is given to the care of Shannel. Rhonda, a diva turned housewife and mother, was given Manila to guide her. Denise, a woman afraid to look at herself in the mirror, was granted the stunning vixen Raven. Let's just say the three of them had their work cut out for them.

Returning from season one is the "new and improved" Dragulator, giving the girls their own drag names and looks. Lisa was named Rai'zon Darasi; Rhonda as Summer Night; Denise as Cha Cha Mizrahi. The looks weren't as impressive as those seen on season one, but then again I am told I'm too cynical when it comes to fashion. Who knew? I have to say, though, I was delighted to see that the "commence dragulation" bit was left in. RuPaul's fro is FIERCE! I can't help but love it.

The challenge for the episode seemed pretty simple. As the theme of the episode was to bring the sexiness back to their marriages, they were to create sexy voicemails for their husbands. Lisa was up first, sounding like some kind of robot. It was a little freaky. Denise bribed her husband for sex by saying he could play video games later (to which Raven suggested she simply play with his joystick). And then there was Rhonda... Poor, poor Rhonda. She said she wanted to play with her husbands "diesel mangina".

Yeah. Diesel. Mangina. I have no idea what happened there, or what that lady thinks a mangina is, but I'm quite certain she is confusing that with a penis. Anywho, despite her mixup in diction (hah!), she did do the best, keeping her sexy voice up and sharing her, however bizarre, fantasies like Dean of Drag Lady Bunny suggested to them.

The women had heart to heart talks with their professors. Most of it was your general "you know you are hot in there grrl" talk. A big surprise did come when I heard Shannel complimenting someone other than herself. Yeah. I know. Let me give you a second to take that all in. Ms. All About Me Shannel actually showed her kinder side by letting Lisa know she was a really beautiful woman and that her ex husband was wrong for treating her the way she did. It seems my rather negative views on Shannel may change in the future -- that is if this is a more than once in a lifetime thing. Manila's pep talk involved her favorite sex positions ("The Social Network" and "Never Ending Pasta Dinner"), and Raven went all "Mommy Dearest" on Denise. Lets just say these gals are a strange bunch.

My biggest "oh no" moment had little to do with manginas. It was more focused on my lovely Manila. During the dance lesson for the girls, the drag professors decided to take over and show them how it is done, and tragically, Manila fell hard on her butt. I was pretty shocked. From what I've seen, Ms. Luzon knows how to get down. I guess everyone messes up sometimes. I just hope she is OK.

Finally, the down in the dumps housewives get all dolled up and go stroll out for everyone to gawk at them. Their looks really didn't impress me too much. I figured with this being the premier episode they would go full out and make everything a spectacle but I was mistaken. Lisa turned out to look like a Shannel clone, again, no shock there. Rhonda looked like a RuPaul impersonator and Denise looked, well, quite good. She had the whole cha cha diva tutu going on and her ponytail was totally fab. I was thrown back a bit to learn that the grading system had been dropped. Season one was big at giving the girls their Drag Point Average and that was how the winner was chosen. Now, the judges just pick their favorite in a collaboration. Lisa ended up winning, much to my dismay. I wanted Denise to win. I felt like she had the best transformation and the best attitude adjustment. Oh well, I guess.

A new, and rather odd, feature of Drag U are pre-commercial segments. The first one was a segment featuring Jujubee from season one giving you things you can do with old panty hos. Yeah. It was even in the really awkward infomercial style. The second was "A Word With RuPaul" wherein he said a rather strange word that I really couldn't understand well enough to type -- Hah! So all in all this was a really good way to start the Drag U season. And with that I bid farewell. Until next time, my friends. I leave you with this: Jujubee attempting to rob a bank with panty hos.