Hiatus is almost over! After my reviews for this week (including the season premier of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) I will be returning in my full glory with more news and music for all of you. Until then, you can get caught up with the crazy staff of SUR on Vanderpump Rules. I hope you like James, Kristen, and Lala, because that's the whole episode, basically.
First off, we had to deal with some residual drama from last week. Being the amazing boss she is, Lisa checked in with Scheana to make sure she was feeling ok after the startling revelations that her husband was a pill addict. Scheana seemed very optimistic about the whole thing, but Lisa was incredibly skeptical. Scheana got the same reaction later in the episode when she was hanging out with Ariana and Katie (who have basically become background characters at this point), when they both felt like she was brushing the problem under the rug.
Jax, who has always been the one to stir the pot, threw his two cents in. He said he felt like milk had a longer shelf life than Scheana and Shay's marriage. Not only is that completely uncalled for, it's also just kind of sad on Jax's part. He has been grasping for attention this season, and after being denied by Lala for James, he even had the balls to approach Lisa to tattle on them. Luckily she saw through the effort and came to the same conclusion as I did -- Jax isn't top dog any more and he cannot stand it one bit. Now, whether James has taken his place is still up in the air for me, despite what Lisa seems to think.
Back on the Scheana front, she invited Tom, and by proxy the invisible Ariana, over to help cook a healthy meal for them. Both Scheana and Shay have been working out and trying to eat healthy. Lucky for them Tom appears to be a pretty good cook, and has always been a very loyal friend. It's cute to see how Tom really wants to help his friend Shay get out of this funk, and it's heartwarming to see that not everyone on this show is a total douche. The food he made certainly looked healthy, but you won't ever see me drinking something that green colored. Well, I hope it works out for them!
Lala and James started out the episode by flirting. There was a lot of things that happened off camera between last week and this week, and one of those things apparently was a huge blowup between James and Kristen that lead to James making out with Lala. This girl really seems afraid of what Kristen can be capable of, and rightfully so because Kristen is pretty insane. Lala has prided herself all season on not being the "other woman" but if she had known James's reputation, she might have been better off staying away for good.
And like a stroke of magical genius, Kristen shows up to unveil the whole thing. Apparently Kristen was away in Detroit for a modeling gig and turned off her phone. In James's head, a turned off phone immediately equates to cheating. I'm not exactly trying to take Kristen's side with this, but his logic is pretty stupid. In his head, their relationship ended right then and there, but Kristen wanted closure. In her confrontation out back behind SUR, they both blurted out that they were done with their relationship.
As you probably guessed here at SUR the drama never ends, so things went on further from there. Jax made a bold move telling Kristen that James had made out with Lala before their breakup as well as already asked her on a date. Jax really wanted to sabotage that relationship, and given his past he's pretty much an expert at it. Am I the only one who thinks that Jax is the real crazy one of the group? Sure Kristen is pretty rash with some of what she does, but she's usually pretty honest. I feel like Jax is a bit of a sociopath. Just my point of view, though.
After a short intermission of Peter getting his pony tail cut off (Nooooo!), we get right back to Kristen. It looked as if now that James was out of the picture in her life that nobody wanted to film scenes with her. Just as I thought she was about to be packing her bags from the Vanderpump Rules family (I mean who is Rachel anyway?), things do a complete flip. Jax invites Kristen to the club that he, Scheana, Katie, and a few others are going to be at. Oh and did I mention that James and Lala are there together? Yeah.
It starts off pretty slow with Scheana laying into Lala (albeit not full force) about how she should have guessed that James hadn't actually broken up with his girlfriend. In Lala's defense she honestly didn't seem to know, even if she had been flirting with him in the past. I guess she might have known, but we've already seen her lie in the past, so it's kind of hard to know the truth.
And then Kristen shows up. I was thinking I was going to see a cat fight, but it actually flipped into something completely different. Just as James was badmouthing Kristen to her face, Lala actually stood up for her. Lala told him point blank that she deserves more respect than what James was giving her and she was not happy with the way he was conducting himself. You might have guessed that James was pretty drunk by this point, and after Jax and Kristen take off to talk in private, Lala quickly followed to try and express her side of the story.
In the weirdest twist of reality TV events ever, the two actually don't fight. Lala explains that she was told they had broken up, which was the only reason she allowed things to escalate to where they were. Kristen not only tells her about how they were still dating, but also all of the extremely harsh things that James said to her about Lala. I guess Lala isn't as air-headed as I thought she was, because she actually connected the dots, with James saying those things to Kristen to avoid her finding out they were flirting. By this point James was already smashed and started yelling at Lala, who honestly is the only completely innocent party here.
This episode was insane to say the least. The show has spent the past two years trying to make the viewers hate Kristen only to flip in one episode and make her the sympathetic party. It looked like some of the girls were actually starting to rally around Kristen, even more so than her only cheerleader left (Scheana). It's unclear as of yet if Jax is actually on her side or just there to start even more drama, but I'm glad that she is starting to get back into the circle that she was once a core member of. Whether or not Katie will welcome her back is another story.
It will be interesting to see where this storyline goes. As of right now I have no idea where the alliances lie, or even if these people can remain friends. Even Scheana's friendships with Katie and Ariana seem to be in a bit of trouble. We aren't even half way through this season, so guessing about the later parts will only waste all of our time. Plus we don't even know how Stassi fits into the equation this season yet. It'll be interesting to see, no?
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