We open up this episode with Joe calling Melissa a stripper... in front of their kids... Wow. Ok, so the context of this segment is them getting ready for the retreat they've been talking about for a few episodes now. And we get to see how crazy Melissa is, because clearly Teresa had nothing to do with the Kim D set up.
We immediately get a contrast situation of Teresa and her Joe packing. Well, Teresa packing, anyway. Her house is much more chaotic, but then again, she has three girls. Eventually Joe shows up, and we actually get to see his sweeter side with him playing with his girls. Teresa explains this isn't therapy, even if what she describes (relationship counselors, etc) is therapy. Whatever.
And finally we get a shot of Kathy packing, but most of her time was spent with flashbacks, as if we need a reminder as to why Kathy and Teresa are fighting. Rosie, Melissa, and her hubby show up to pick up Kathy and Rich, much to Rich's dismay. He thinks this won't help, and judging by the promos, I doubt it will help either.
Spoiler alert! As if the episode title and the promos didn't give it away enough, this ends in a fight.
It was sad to see Rosie the only one who is really trying with this situation. Rosie is really wanting this family together, while the rest of them bad mouth the situation. I don't know why they can't just try. Rich is being the most hard-headded of them all.
Teresa and her Joe arrive at the "castle" first. It doesn't look much like a castle, more like a big house. Teresa lets her blond side show by expressing her not wanting ghosts in the midst of their not-therapy.
We cut to Caroline for the first time this episode, where she explains the reasons she's not going to the retreat because she doesn't want to get back into the mess. Instead, she's spending time with her husband. They discuss his father, and he urges her to honor his memory by making her walk across the footbridge over a river. It wasn't that bad, but Caroline apparently has a fear of heights. She did it, but she did some sort of awkward run across it. It was cute, and I like seeing the two of them bond.
It's always a chore to get through Jacqueline segments. She doesn't have much going on other than her complete insanity over Teresa. It takes less than two minutes to shift the subject to Teresa. She admits she tweeted something calling Teresa a moron. She obviously did this for more screen time. She obviously brings up Teresa for more screen time. I'm bored.
The rest of the crew arrives at the "castle", still complaining the whole way. Apparently this is the first Teresa has heard that Caroline and Jacqueline weren't coming, which immediately brings up that Tweet I mentioned earlier. Kathy quickly diverts the conversation back to the family, but of course Teresa doesn't stop. Melissa also diverts the conversation, and Teresa finally gives up on that topic. Thank God.
I'm going to skip over several, several minutes of Jacqueline fueled drama.
They sit down to eat dinner, and it was the most awkward thing ever. Like hilarious awkward. I don't know if it was the editing, but only Teresa was really talking, and everyone was rolling their eyes at her fakeness. Finally Rosie breaks the ice, explaining the weekend to everyone. She is really into this, and I am falling harder for her. She is my favorite "friend of the housewives"
Finally, the team-builders arrive, so we can get this show on the road. The two are married, and they look quite awkward, to which Melissa calls out quickly. Even Kathy is not impressed, thinking they are too young and not ready to handle this group of crazies. I'm not quite sure they can handle it, either.
These exercises don't seem very intense, with a circle and having squares on the floor to hold themselves to one another. I can't even explain. It was awkward and not something I would want to do.
The big question came up as to whether they trusted one another. The clear answer is no. Teresa says she will be loyal to him, no matter what he does. They both seem so hard headed and not willing to budge. If they'd both just meet in the middle, they could be a family, but both want the other to completely change.
Teresa admits that the reason she isn't speaking to Joe because of Jacqueline. This immediately makes Joe mad because he feels he is his own man and things should be between then. Teresa says that Jacqueline is crazy. Well obviously.
Again, I'll skip more minutes of Jacqueline fueled drama.
And then they start screaming in each others faces. Melissa plays the martyr, and Teresa plays the saint. Again we are at a standstill. Melissa is still convinced that Teresa is behind all rumors. Both of them get screaming, and of course this enrages Teresa's Joe.
It all comes down to the promo piece. Teresa's Joe wants her brother to apologize for his comment for calling her scum. Joe goes inside while the credits start to roll, and the two of them immediately start going at each other. Right as the first punch flies, it cuts off. Thankfully the "next time" part, we get to see a little more.
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