Tuesday, February 26, 2013

RuPaul's Drag Race Recap - Snatch Game Season Five

To be honest, I was a bit down after last week's double elimination. This means that not only did two of my favorites go home, but it opens the possibility for having a situation where nobody goes home, and it will probably be during a week where there is someone who really needs to get the boot. Oh well, life goes on, and so does Team GaoSalad.




Now is the time, bitches. IT IS TIME FOR THE SNATCH GAME! Everyone's favorite episode is happening right now, and I'm here to recap it for you.

As you know, last week two queens went home. Now Team GaoSalad has to be reformed. Lineysha is still there (I think? Were has that girl been?), but who now I have inducted Jinkx and Ivy Winters into Team GaoSalad.

Oh yeah, and Jade hates Alyssa now. Moving on.

This is what shade plotting looks like.
Is Rolaskatox getting on anyone else's nerves? I still think they are a poor man's Heathers. Ru goes ahead and tells them what they are up to this week, but I couldn't pay attention because Lineysha's boy form is super sexy. Turns out they are gonna turn snuggies into fabulous red carpet looks. The show did make me laugh out loud for the first time when Ivy threw shade at Alaska. Team GaoSalad ALL THE WAY!

As with all the mini challenges, they all looked pretty terrible. Well maybe except Detox, who looked EXACTLY like Pizzazz from Jem and the Holograms. Ugh. Alaska put on a freaking monster mask.

This bitch is makin' mischief.
Ru announces that it is Snatch Game time and everyone freaks out. They all announce who they are gonna be, but most of the big names are taken up from past seasons, so this year doesn't have any big sounding names. By the way I'm too distracted by Lineysha being shirtless constantly. I need to get back in the game.

Detox is going to be Kesha, which is the most promising sounding of the group. Ivy announces she is going to be Marylin Monroe, with no idea how she is going to make her funny. Isn't that the point of Snatch Game? Alaska is going to be Lady Bunny. Ru is skeptical. I'm skeptical. Coco is going to be Janet Jackson, but that bitch ain't funny. Lineysha decided to be Michelle Obama. Oh my. He doesn't seem to get that you have to be funny, not just look like the person.

Our Snatch Game Contestants are Julie Brown and Downtown Julie Brown. I am a HUGE Julie Brown fan. We find out who the other girls have done, too. Jade decided to be Taylor Swift. Alyssa did Katy Perry, and actually looked amazing! Lineysha went with Celia instead of Michelle. Roxxxy went with Tamar Braxton. Whoever that is.

Lineysha was kind of dead in the water, much as most of the Latin queens do. Another big flop was Ivy. C'mon Team GaoSalad, get your head together.

Honestly this Snatch Game is a bit downplayed from the last few seasons. For once, Alaska impressed me. Her Lady Bunny was spot on. Roxxxy had a few funny moments, but other than that, the girls did pretty bad. I don't know if there were as many flops as last year, but damn. Just when I got bored with the situation, Coco had to start trouble by taking Jinkx's joke too seriously. Oh and Detox pissed on the floor. The hell?

Anybody else love Alyssa?
All these bitches start reading each other in the work room. I mean really? Coco butts into the argument at the last moment just to get the last word. She harasses Jinkx to the point to where he cries, which makes me dislike Coco even more. I think it is pretty unanimous in the work room that this bitch needs to go.

It's Runway Time!
Ivy looks like a gold fish goddess. I love the eye placement, too. Not my favorite look for her, but it's nice to see her all glammed up.
Detox had an awkward jellyfish dress. Cute, but weird.
Jade tried to look older, but flopped. Those leg warmers made it look horrid.
Roxxy didn't look too great either. I loved the lightning bolt earrings, but she needed something to cover that ass better.
Jinkx looked a lot better. The makeup was a bit busted, but she mixed cam and glamor perfectly.
Coco looked like an ugly Nicki Minaj. And Nicki isn't hot by any means.
Alyssa had a great dress, but that hat was thrwoing me off a bit.
LIneysha always looks perfect. I don't see the fish bit, but the one leg portion was amazing.
Alaska's dress and hair were bad, and she needs to stop using props. All it does is distract the judges from her poor fashion.

It's probably a bad thing that Santino compared her to Pandora Boxx.
Ru announces Alyssa, Coco, and Jade are safe. Two of those deserved to go home. They ripped hard on Jinkx's runway look, but she got a lot of compliments on the Snatch Game performance.

Ru announces that Jinkx wins, proving that camp queens can win a challenge or two. The bottom two comes down to Lineysha and Detox. It looks like Team GaoSalad may have another casualty, seeing as Detox is one of the fiercest queens I've seen. As I suspected, expert lip syncer Detox won, sending sexy Lineysha home.

No comments:

Post a Comment