RuPaul's Drag Race Recap - Black Swan: Why It Gotta Be Black?

I have no words for this episode. OK, so that is a lie, but to be fair I wrote this review as I was watching it. Now that I've seen it, I have no words. Well not after this opening statement. You knwo what? Let's just start the damn thing already.

Finally, a week where I've managed to avoid all spoilers (sans a certain pop star citing that Alaska was acting a brat again). Maybe a few things will happen that I didn't see coming. Probably not though. Let's get started, shall we?

The girls seem pretty upset that Monica is gone. The only one who didn't seem to care was Jade, who is supposedly close to Coco. They talk about how Alyssa is a huge distraction for her. Team GaoSalad member Vivienne decides that Roxxxy is her new arch nemesis. Oh HELL NO. My faves don't need to be cat fighting.

Ru pops up on the screen, dropping Black Swan hints, as if the name of the episode didn't give it away enough. The mini challenge is all about who the best dancers are in the group. They are gonna have a soul danceoff, complete with fro wigs. All of them don't look like they paid much attention to their look, but Detox definitely looked the best... being that they all looked like LMFAO rejects. I don't know anything about dancing or what good dancing is, but Jinkx and Coco won. I guess they were good?

We call this one PinkFoo

This of course makes them team captains, and the main challenge is to put on a ballet about Ru's life called No Rupaulogies. Coco freaks everyone out by picking Alyssa first, showing that Coco isn't stupid in the least. The rest of the team picking was predictable, as the lines seem to be drawn in the workroom thus far. Of course since they mentioned how close Coco and Jade are, they have  something happen. Some things on this show just feel so scripted.

The work room walkthrough can be summed up in Team Jinkx looking a mess without knowing who most of the people are, and with Alaska not being able to dance. Team Coco looked much more put together, and the Coco/Alyssa rivalry will probably push them over the edge this time.

Ru introduces the two choreography guys, to which everyone pretends like they have heard of, but haven't. At least they are both hella cute, right? Me and Jinkx were totally on the same page, too.  The girls show off a bit, but when it comes to Alaska, she flops. She didn't seem to be putting forth near as much effort as the rest of the group. Team Coco has a similar problem with Team GaoSalad member Honey. Step it up, girl. I don't want you coming home.

There is some boring Coco/Jade drama. Who cares? Let's get to the challenge.

Team Jinkx had the first half of the ballet. Alaska looked like Sharon's debate episode look. Lineysha mad an amazing Diana Ross! Jinkx and Ivy took the cake for this team. I can easily foresee one of them snatching the win.

This is exactly what it looks like.

Team Coco starts off with Coco and Alyssa fighting one another. Both of them are good dancers, and look fierce. Alyssa's dance background really saved her here, and Coco made the right move picking her for her team. Detox as 90's Ru was hysterical. Honey's Diana was not anywhere near as flawless as Lineysha, but I think she may be safe. Vivienne made the perfect Superstar. She makes one helluva fishy queen. Plus that Present Day Ru was amazing.

The Runway was a quick run through and hardly worth mentioning, but I did love Alyssa the Detox the most this week. That hair. Other sexy notables are Vivienne, Roxxxy, and Alyssa.

Detox's lips are so huge. We all know her other talent.

Jinkx, Ivy, Alyssa, Vivienne, Roxxxy, and Honey are the tops and bottoms this week. Team GaoSalad turned on one another with Vivienne and Honey going at each other. It looks like we may have a change to the lineup, my friends.

Alyssa wins, to the surprise of absolutely nobody. At least she completely deserved it. The bottom two is Team GaoSalad VS Team GaoSalad. Vivienne has to lip sync against Honey, and one of my top picks is going home. Holy shit both of them get sent home due to neither of them having the "fire that it takes to stay". What the hell Ru? Team GaoSalad now must usher in two new members, but who?