Cooter - A Single Review

You all knew this was coming. I have been talking about this song for months now (such as here, here, here, and even in my exclusive interview with Jipsta). It's about damn time this track came out. While it wasn't exactly what I was expecting, it still is priceless -- well actually I've spent around sixteen dollars on it, but who's counting? Let me tell you about Pandora Boxx's Cooter.

Before I start in, let me tell you, this single is raunchy -- in a good way. The song captures this lady's hilarious on-spot humor perfectly. If you have listened to any of her comedy routines, you'll get it... If not, just look out. But regardless of anything you may think, don't say I didn't warn you.

The main part of the song is Pandora talk-singing along with a catchy techno beat. Ms. Boxx tells a story abut pining for a straight guy and being envious of all the ladies with their lady parts that are more suitable to the hot guy. Yes, Pandora is really a man. Being a gay man myself, I know how frustrating it feels to know that you will never be able to bag the sexy straight guy you're crushing on... unless there is lots of booze involved, wherein it becomes a police mater in the morning.

The song quickly escalates past the general yearning, however, to the point to where she talks about actually wanting to get a va-jay-jay. Don't worry, though, she says she is too attached to her penis to undergo surgery (And damn this is confusing to explain using pronouns). She would rather just borrow yours, or use a plastic one.

What makes this song work is Pandora's perfect timing. A lot of these jokes would seem nasty if anyone else had been singing them, but her sarcasm and humor shine through and make it so much fun. For the verses, she tosses in extra words at the end of the phrases, adding in the occasional slurping noise to make it all complete. For me, the spelling portion of the song is what totally sold me. As I've stated time and time again, I love songs that spell words out. I can't explain it, and the paranoid/self-centered jerk inside of me is just going to assume she knew of my love for such songs and made the song especially for me!

The song also introduces us all to an array of amazing new vocabulary. "Spulunk" "Cooterlicious" and "Baracooter" are among the new words she introduces to the unsuspecting public in this song. I don't know about you, but all three words have become part of my every day usage. And yes, I go out of my way to be awkward sometimes.

She doesn't exactly sing. For those familiar with the dance-scene, just think of her as the female (?) version of Jipsta, who coincidentally worked on this track, too. I haven't got him to confirm this yet, but I'm almost positive that he is the one singing along with her during the spelling-out of "Cooter".

The song wraps up with Pandora begging to borrow your cooter. Just for a night... or maybe an hour. I honestly couldn't stop laughing the first time I heard this song, and I don't see how anyone who isn't a complete prude wouldn't laugh their asses off at it. You can buy it on iTunes here. Did I mention its currently #59 on iTunes dance charts? Watch out, David Guetta, Pandora's coming for you!