Song of the Month - Dream Beats & Molly "Beneath The Lights"

I know I just did a story on this a few days ago, but it came down to this and another track (which is up for a special Wild Card Position I will address soon), and both of them were from the last week. I had no choice, really. It looks like my faves Dream Beats have won my hearts again -- and since they have put it up on US iTunes, it's free game!

Dream Beats is quickly becoming the go-to producer for indie pop. I say that because he is making a habit of turning artists who are just starting out into internet phenomenons. And this guy doesn't even have a thousand fans on Facebook. He just magically makes people awesome. Molly is no different. She has the talent, and now with an amazing track, she is sure to excel and move on to even more hit pop tracks.

There isn't much to say about the song that I haven't said already in my previous post. It is a great song with a very interesting juxtaposition between verse and chorus. The Dream Beats production is the solid foundation, and Molly's vocals are the glittery sparkles that bedazzle the top. And that, my friends, is the gayest thing I have ever said on this site.

Ever.

Grab the track on iTunes so he keeps finding new talent to make songs for so I can keep this gig going!

Giulietta's "No Where" Video Is Here

Ever notice how many ways you can work a name like "No Where" into an article title? Think about it? Giulietta has been on the path to stardom for a while now, and being on a track produced by T-Pain is only aiding her in her quest to be as awesome as she can be. Now, the video is out to give you an even better view of what this song is really about.



This video is actually pretty simple. It is the simplicity, however, that makes it so enjoyable. Giulietta is known for having crazy videos with lots of fast pace storytelling. This song called for something far different. "No Where" is a much slower track than her past few songs have been, and that called for a bit of a revamp. The bulk of the video is her reminiscing on a past relationship that had failed on her. Truly beautiful scenes such as her leaning against a wall that has a projector image of her relationship and her walking through the woods in a sullen atmosphere make for a truly stunning video.

My only problem, actually, is one I have with many of Giulietta's videos. The guest rapper, Tay Dizm, is not in the video at all. This would be fine if he only had a small rap bit like Dall Diamond in "Pretty In Pink", but Tay's part is actually more of the song length and content wise than Giulietta's. That means for a good chunk of the video, she is on screen while not actually being in that part of the track. When I had spoken to her before, she mentioned that due to being located in Australia, getting her featured artists involved in a video shoot was much more of a hassle and expense, but I was still expecting to see Tay, seeing as this is her big debut with Nappy Boy.

Simplicity and Dizmlessness aside, this is a big step in the right direction. She is transitioning from a electro-pop artist into a R&B-Pop artist, and with that comes a distinct change. We began to see this shift late in the Code Pink era, but with the new single comes a distinct stylistic change. We still have our red-haired beauty, but with her now comes a harded attitude and a more focused sound.

Dream Beats Is Back With New Artist Molly

The amazingly awesome producer aptly named Dream Beats is back with their first single. His real name is Anders Hansson, and he's been off the radar for a while now, since his last single with UK pop trio The Face. Now he is back and pairing up with a fresh face named Molly, ready to take the music world head on once again.



This marks a definite change in pace for Dream Beats. "Love Stuck", the track he released in conjunction with The Face, was a much more upbeat and happy song. "Beneath The Lights", while not depressing, certainly isn't as cheery as it's predecessor. The song crawls along, letting you seep in everything, and then does a 180, becoming a much faster song for a short period of time during the chorus. I've not seen this method used often, which keeps the track feeling fresh even after a few goes.

The video is quite simple. I don't know how attention-grabbing it is, but then again with the source material, something like this could be expected. The majority of the video is Molly singing over images of a city. The video seems to be a metaphor for loneliness, but it is pretty vague, nonetheless.

Dream Beats has made a name for themselves with their last single in the blogosphere -- and being associated with crazy popular Scandinavian group Le Kid probably helps. Molly, on the other hand, is a bit of a mystery. I found both her official website and her Facebook, both of which are rather barren. Props to anybody who can get me any more info on this Brit singer.

Emilie Autumn Drops F.L.A.G. Official Video

It's no secret that I love Emilie Autumn. She has had a long career of amazing music and crazy shows, but she was always missing something. That something has shown up, finally, to bring her career full circle. She has finally released her first music video. Three albums and ten years later it's still worth the wait.



"Fight Like A Girl" is the first single from Emilie Autumn ever. And yes, I'm being serious. Emilie usually drops her albums as whole works of art, but this was different. She's been getting buddy buddy with director Darren Lynn Bousman, famous for Repo: The Genetic Opera and The Devil's Carnival (of which Emilie stars in). What has come of this partnership is one of the most entertaining music videos I've seen in the past few years.

The plot of the video is that of a group of girls from Emilie's fictional Asylum For Wayward Victorian Girls being forced to perform various circus acts for a group of disgruntled men. Emilie, after being forced to strip down and put on a ridiculous costume, decides it's time to take revenge. She recruits several of her girlfriends to kill off their handlers and several audience members during their dance routine. What does she get in the end? Just locked back up in her cell.

Emilie has been known as a performer, and now those who haven't yet had the pleasure of seeing her live can see what it is all about. The quality is exceptional and the story is amusing. There is just enough plot to keep the viewer interested, but not so much that it becomes an overbearing Gaga movie-that-just-so-happens-to-have-music-in-it video. This is exactly what I was expecting and more.

Sheena Rose Drops Hot New Dance Track

Sheena Rose is a queen out of San Francisco who has set out to prove that you don't need to be on Drag Race to be making music. She has released a few songs over the past few years, but she's back in 2013 with her newest track "Make Me Over" -- and it's got like a hundred remixes to go along with it.

Ok, so maybe saying it has a hundred remixes is a stretch, but it does have a lot. Sheena seems to be wanting to please any and every kind of electronic music fan. There are so many remixes for this track that it's had to be split into two separate EPs totaling nearly 20 track. Let's just say Ms. Rose isn't messing around.

Among these mixes are some pretty big names, which really had me a bit surprised. When you've got a name like Nina Flowers, fan favorite from season one of RuPaul's Drag Race and contestant on RuPaul's All Stars Drag Race, you know things are serious. Other big names like Subgroover and Naked Highway make several appearances across the two releases as well.

As for the song itself (the original being the LFB Radio edit), I was a bit worried at first. The song has a shaking beginning, sounding a bit out of sync with it's backtrack. I am unsure if this is just the edit or not. However, it quickly recovers, turning into a very fun and upbeat track. The vocals themselves may not be the best, but it's obvious she is having fun with the song, and in the end that is what shines through and makes this track so addicting.

And with 17 remixes, you'll never run out of ways to keep this song sounding fresh and new!

The EPs are on iTunes here and here.

RuPaul's Drag Race Recap - The Final Three, Hunty

Here we are again. One year later and we are down to three talented queens, each who (more or less?) deserve the crown in their own way. The race is close, and unlike last year, it could be pretty much any of them... but let's see if you can pick up on who I'm rooting for.

Willam Belli Takes "Rupaulogize" A Step Further

Oh lord it's here. Remember the Drag Race Season Four Reunion? When Willam dropped the big bombshell "Rupaulogize"? Well it's back. Bordering in on the line of dead meme territory, Willam has brought back her fan favorite phrase from near death in a new form -- song. And video, of course.



Oh, Willam. You never cease to amuse me. Willam is always bringing her personal bizznass into her music. First we gotta hear about how she's trouble getting kicked off Drag Race, then we gotta hear about how she only did it for some big schlong. Now? She's still pissed she didn't get on Drag Race All Stars. To be fair, wouldn't you be, too?

Willam has been good about balancing parody tracks with original material. This particular song, a parody of OneRepublic's annoyingly catchy "Apologize", opts for the laughs over the dancablitiy. The great thing is that although it is campy and awkward (I mean she does jokingly call out Ru on a few occasions), it still manages to be fun. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is no nice way to say it. If you don't think Willam is funny you are dumb.

As per usual Willam fashion, "Rupaulogize" has a video to go along with it. The whole thing takes place in a roller rink, with two sexy guys tagging along (anyone else digging the guy with the 70s hair?). The whole thing feels like an odd take on "Public Affair" by Jessica Simpson, which would be hilarious if this was on purpose due to her take on Jessica in Season Four's Snatch Game.

A special treat for the fans in this video features yet another Drag Race star. Playing the role of Ru mid-way through the video is season four winner Sharon Needles. She says many of Ru's catchphrases, which there are plenty to choose from, and spends most of her time looking stunning. Also in the video in less noticeable out-of-drag cameos are Season Five's top three Alaska and Season Three winner Raja. They are credited as "Roller Trash". Damn.

The track is up on iTunes, obviously. Check it out. It'll go nicely with Chow Down which is already on your iTunes Library. 

Anti-Bullying Film "Wasted On The Youth" Out Tuesday

If there is one thing that we stand for here at TOTU it is that bullying is simply not OK. We may throw a little shade or "call it like we see it", but when it comes down to the bottom line, bullying in any form is simply unacceptable. That is why I take the time, when I can, to showcase artists of any sort that are advocating to stop the hate. This is why I bring up the upcoming film "Wasted On The Youth". And it doesn't hurt that there are a couple of familiar faces in there too.



So this isn't exactly a trailer. Then again, this blog isn't exactly a movie blog. You knew there would be a catch, didn't you? This is a music video that was made to accompany the movie's release -- for music lovers like myself. This synth heavy industrial track is by the group Heath and is called "Die Slow".

The video shows us most of the plot of the movie. It starts with a mix of a party going on and their day to day lives at school (which includes some hot boys in spandex! Go swim team!). Things evolve into a sticky situation involving drugs and revenge. I don't wanna give away too much of the plot, seeing as the movie isn't out for a few more days. The music is perfect, the setting is dark and errie. The only real complaint I have is that this may give away too much of the film's plot. Don't worry, though, there are still a few surprises in store.

Oh and notice anybody familiar? The starring male is Alex Russell, brought to fame by the movie Chronicle, and the female is Adelaide Clemens from the survival horror film Silent Hill Revelation. Bonus points to you if you knew I am obsessed with Silent Hill.

This film is on the verge of doing something amazing, and being the hipster I am, I can now say I liked it before it was cool. Well I mean it was seen by a ton of people at SXSW and The Toronto International Film Festival, but we won't linger there too much. The film is coming to DVD this Tuesday, April 23.

Osvaldo Supino Has A Name (And A New Video)

Osvaldo is back! Not that I've covered him before. Until recently I was very decidedly United States focused, so I more or less skipped over him previously. Then the thought crossed my mind, "Hey, if it's legal to view their videos, why not cover them if they are talented?" Well Osvlado Supino is quite talented, and with the recent release of his much anticipated new single "I Have A Name", I believe it's quite past due time I introduce my readers to this interesting fellow.



So that bit about the legality of getting his music may be ignorance on my part. Most of his stuff is up on US iTunes (although an EP of "I Have A Name" quoted on his fanpage seems to be missing). So I guess I have no excuse. I can say that he has been on my radar for some time, and his last single had me dancing. So why cover this song instead of them all?

Because this track is damn hot. What really makes this song work is that it has such an uptempo beat, while the vocals remain calm and under control. While I love "Mannequinz", the song was a bit on the crazier side. I can appreciate "I Have A Name"s calmer side, showing us that he is not only multifaceted, but also an accomplished singer.

While the video has a lot less scantily clad sexy boys running about, it does paint a more mature picture of a growing artist. Osvaldo takes a bit of a backseat to the story about not wanting to be the "other woman" in a sense. The characters all play out their stories, showing that they don't wish to be ashamed of who they really are. Supino does have his chance to shine at the end, giving us an intimate look into his world just as that octave change occurs.  

I guess what Im trying to say is SORRY OSVALDO! I'll be sure and keep a better eye out for what you have in store. Perhaps enlighten us as to if we will get your EP. Or better yet, when we can see material for you forthcoming album "Exposed" -- mostly because I don't have enough time to learn Italian!

Check out his body of work on iTunes, and be sure to grab this track... and a few others, too!

Daniel Robinson New Single + EP Coming Soon

The last time we saw Daniel, he was working on a to-be-named EP with the high energy track "Deep River". Now he is back with a new single, and promise of a new EP coming very soon. Let's talk about "Guesswork"s lead in single "Runnging With The Wolves".

It never fails to impress me how artists can grow so much over such a short time. He has a few tracks under his belt, but "Running With The Wolves" shows a clear step forward in both quality and style. The song has a very electronic and airy feel that can easily be compared to Owl City, but feeling notably less empty in the since of generic pop.

This song has a strong Robyn-esqu beat driving it, keeping his electronically tinged voice on point. The song, about his inability to tell if his love is true to him or not, is buried in metaphor after metaphor, allowing it to be applied to many different situations.

The news of this new single comes paired with the announcement of a solid release. I can't even state how excited I am to see that he is releasing another EP. The work, entitled "Guesswork" is due out June 18th exclusively on BandCamp. The track list is as follows:

1. Introduction
2. Running With The Wolves
3. Invasion
4. You're Not The One
5. Not Your Boy
6. Halcyonic

The EP is up for preorder on BandCamp now, and comes paired with a digital copy of "Running With The Wolves" upon purchase.

RuPaul's Drag Race Recap - Sugar Ball

It's getting down to the wire. Is this my perfect top four? Hell no, but I have to say at least the girls left are ones that deserve to be there. Yes, even Alaska. She's proven herself to me the past few weeks, and I guess those freebies she got early on were worth the big reveal. It's a mix of Late Bloomers (Alaska and Jinkx) and Day One Fierce (Detox and Roxxxy). But who will go home this time?

Moya Just Needs A Little More Love

Moya is another up and coming vocalist from the UK. What sets her apart? This girl's previous single was A Listed by BBC Radio. That takes some real talent -- raw or not. Now she is back with a another track, and this one certainly has my attention. Let's take a gander at "A Little More Love" by Moya.



What I love about this song is that it is one long buildup. It starts slowly, and eventually builds up to something that borderlines on elctropop, but never quite breaches the barrier. Moya admits "You think it’s going to go somewhere it doesn’t, but that’s what I like about it." And that is exactly what I like about it, too. It's really hard to explain what makes this song work other than "it just does."

With UK pop growing and expanding into the US, it seems natural that I start covering more acts, but of course I will be focusing on indie acts, which Moya is a prime example of. This single came out just yesterday, and it is already causing a stir. It's video, set up like a somber Adele-esque video, has racked up a half a million views since it's release in late January.

I have to say that of the recent crop of British groups making their way to the United States, I have to say I am placing my faith in Moya. She is one to keep an eye on, and I hope she fares as well in the states as she is in her homeland.

You can preview and buy the track on iTunes.

MYPHNH(BS) - Ms Trez

When talented singers come around that I feel aren't getting the due respect or attention they deserve, I often times take things into my own hands. Thus is the reason why I started not only this blog, but more specifically this segment, aptly titled Music You Probably Have Never Heard (But Should). This go around, a girl group from Europe has caught my attention, and this talented threesome could use a bit of press. Meet Ms Trez.

What is it about girl groups that just drives me wild? All my life I have fallen in love with the art form known as the girl group. They have amazing harmonies, pure pop sound, and sexy divas fronting them all. This is also a problem, however, when it comes to standing out. There is a plus side, it would seem. In the US there has been an absence of this type of music. Despite it being still very prevalent in Europe, especially the UK, it is a near dead art form in the United States. This opens up a whole lot of possibilities for those type trying to break through.

The Saturdays may have re-opened the door to the Girl Group in the US, but that doesn't mean they have got it cornered. Enter Ms Trez. A group of single ladies who have a tighter sound than any I've heard in a long time. They may not have a lot under their belt record wise as of now, but they are already making the push from Europe to the states.

The song they have been pushing lately is called "Sweet Liar" and is a song that can reach nearly anyone that is into pop music. Why you ask? Because the went ahead and released two versions. The original released late last year is a slower ballad, while the remix that came out just a few short weeks ago brings it to a faster pace and gives it an electronic sound to get you moving. I prefer the ballad version, but only as a preference. Both songs flow so differently that they are almost completely separate.

Based in Sweden, they are already garnering a lot of attention in their homeland, going as far as to being featured on fellow blog Scandipop. Now they are shifting more of a focus on getting their name out on my terf, so it's a no brainer that I would cover them. They are hot, both visually and vocally, and they make very catchy and fun songs. Why not like them? Their entire discography so far is available on iTunes. I recommend starting on "Beat Is Hot", as it serves as a sort of theme song for what they are all about (being fabulous, of course) and then moving outward from there.

This is definitely a group I will keep my eye on in the future.

Giulietta Goes "No Where" With Tay Dizm

I looooove me some Giulietta. She is one of the most talented and amazing indie artists out there. And lucky for her, people are taking notice. Her new single, "No Where" not only features a familiar face, but is produced by someone quite famous -- and certainly sets her above her peers.

Look at that fine print on that cover there. It says "Prod. by T-Pain". That's right. Giulietta has been ushered into the House of Nappy Boy. This is an amazing feat for any artist, let alone an unsigned pop singer who's last album was released at no charge. I have been following her for a long time and able to see her grow. The track has been released by Nappy Boy Digital, but I have not seen any word yet if she is being added to the roster officially.

This single comes as a bit of a departure from her previous album "911: Code Pink". While there was a slight R&B influence on the album (as well as Tay himself), pop was the main focus. With this release, pop is pushed aside for the time being. The song is about a relationship that has stalled and isn't going in any direction, good or bad.

I was really surprised by Tay's heavy involvement in the song. He actually takes up the better half of the song with his rap, leading a casual listener to think Giulietta may be the featured artist instead of the headliner. I have to say that the best part is her layered chorus of "It feels like" repeated in syncopation.

This track may not be free like her previous work, but it is still worth checking out for only 99cents. Grab your copy on iTunes.

Holly Elle Shows Us Who She Is With New Video

Just when you think an Holly Elle is going back into hiding to work on more content,she reemerges and brings you something to keep your faith and keep you going. I was beginning to wonder if we would see a video out of her last EP, and thankfully, we did see a release -- but it's not what you think it is. Check out "Who I Am".



This video came as a bit of a shock for me. As far as I knew, she was headed in the direction of upbeat song "Predator". This track was one of the more soulful and slow tracks from "Loepardess". While it's not a bad choice, it is shocking to say the least.

As for the video, this is along the same lines as her previous video "Don't Come Home". There isn't a lot of action, but more extended sequences and lip syncing to her track. The video consists mostly of Holly walking around Nashville which is a big part of who she really is, aiding to the song's message. She is not afraid of showing off her true colors for her fans.

While it may not be as emotionally tying as some of her previous videos, it still is a good forward motion for this artist. She has grown exponentially since the time I started following her. I can only hope that she does another video for this EP. Ideally? "Seeing Red." Logically, though, I'd say "Predator."

RuPaul's Drag Race Recap - Super Troopers

This season has finally torn itself from the bad "let's bring a departed queen back" schtick, and I think it's for the best. We have, essentially, the girls with the most star quality left (minus Alyssa!?), and we are ready to trudge forward. The one thing they didn't break away from this season is the makeover episode -- and be glad because it's one of the best Drag Race episodes to date. Don't believe me? Then check it!

Abi Ann and Her New Single "Daydreaming"

Music artists these days come younger and younger. I am always amazed to see someone around my age making a name for themselves, but I have to say when I learned this girl was just fifteen, it did catch my attention. Then I heard her voice. Let's introduce you to Abi Ann.

 

Abi is an impressive girl indeed. She has been around for a bit now, but I have somehow missed her until now. "Daydreaming" is just a good a song as any to get started with, too. She is branded as being country, but this comes across much more Taylor Swift style country than Reba. She uses acoustic guitar to keep the song upbeat, and enhances the whole experience with her melodic voice.

The song is about the simpler kind of love that people experience. It's not about going out to a club and meeting a sexy guy. It's not about wanting to get married and have a family. It's simply about a girl who has a huge crush on a guy, and making her way into his life so she can be with him. The simplicity of the song is what draws me to it. "Daydreaming" is cute and bubbly, and it's singer fits the topic perfectly.

Abi Ann is an accomplished vocalist, having toured extensively with many stage plays in her past. This lead to her wanting to do more of her own thing. And thus a music career was born. According to iTunes (reliable, am I right?), this is her fifth single. Hopefully we will see a full EP or album out of her soon. She's got a solid track just in time for the influx of warm weather we are getting in the States. The timing is right. Now we just need more!

You can preview and buy the track on iTunes.

Scarlette Fever Is Back! New Video + Music Soon

Scarlette Fever, one of the UK's premier country music acts has finally come back to us. She has been missing for nearly a year, and recently has released a new music video. This time there is a bit of a twist. The video is out now, but for the download you're gonna have to wait.



This song is set directly in Scarlette's realm of country music. She had previously dabbled in pop, but now she is returning full force, giving us the best pieces of Reba and Miranda. We all know I'm not the biggest fan of this style of music, but this song is too damn catchy to pass up. I mean, where would be the fun in that?

The catch is that the song itself isn't exactly out yet. "Where's The Fun?" comes out official online April 22. Here's the second catch -- it's not even her real return. Well not her "real" return. This is just her way of getting people's attention -- a promotional single if you will. The legitimate new single will be out later this year. She's been recording in the US recently and is ready to unleash her new music onto the scene.

When asked to describe her new song she was quick to say: "Take the best rhythm section in the world, a girl who grew up wanting to sing Aretha songs, and a guy who worked at a supermarket and this is what you get!"

Colette Carr's "Never Gonna Happen" Gets A Video

Praise Jesus that this song got a video. This song is Colette's first real chance to breakthrough to mainstream radio while still staying (mostly) true to her origins as a rap chica. For those used to hearing her hardcore spit, it may take a bit to swallow this song, but for those who love her more poppy side, this is a goldmine.



Seriously, this video is brighter and bubblier than an Aqua video -- and that's a good thing. From the beginning of her driving a cCarr look-a-like doll in a RC car, to her dancing on her bed, this video is cute and fun. Colette invites her friends over, they get ready, and hit up a party where her ex is. The twist ending? She gets with her ex even though he spent the whole time at the party flirting with another blonde girl.

The ending itself is something I don't think anybody saw coming. Her usual person is "screw men, especially if they cross me", but here we see her willingly giving into temptation. She instead turned and gave out the message "screw girls who try and steal this guy Im working on things with". Strange, no?

The video is a huge step in the right direction for cCarr. The quality is amazing. The direction was fantastic. "F16" was amazing, but with the lack of forward movement with "Why Are You Leaving", I was worried. This video has restored my faith both in Colette Carr and her "Skitszo" movement. Bring on part four. I'm ready.

Sarah Brighman To Release New Album "Dreamchaser"

Sarah Brightman is one of the most talented women on the planet. I don't care who you are, but if you deny this fact, we cannot be friends... or live on the same planet. Sarah is famous for her Broadway roles with former husband Andrew Lloyd Webber such as Christine in The Phantom of the Opera and a lead role in Cats. Subsequently they moved on to doing her own music, and even appeared in the cult hit movie Repo: The Genetic Opera. Now she is about to release her 11th solo album "Dreamchaser."

While Sarah often dabbles in pop, she more often than not keeps to a classical sound.  Due out April 16th in the US, this album is more of the beautiful voice we have come to love. This may not be something you will go bumping to your car in, but one can't help but admire her amazing talent.

The track "Angel" was released exclusively to her fans via her fanmail service late last year as a preview to what she had been working on, as well as an apology for the album being pushed back to 2013. The official lead in single was the track "One Day Like This", which has recently had a video released.



This is Brightman's first album since 2008 where she released both a regular and Christmas album. This release is decidedly less pop and more true to her original releases. This will definitely her core fans happy, but may also alienate fans she gained with her previous release "Symphony". The only track that comes close to that full power feeling is "Closer" that comes in a the end.

The album has already been released in much of the world, with the US and Canada trailing behind with an April 16th release date. There are multiple versions planned, with a Target Exclusive and an iTunes Deluxe edition.

March Song of the Month - Kim Smith "Jealous"

I know, I know. The Song of the Month is supposed to be posted on the last day of said month, but sometimes I get busy. So, without further ado, allow me to reveal the Song of the Month for March, 2013 -- Kim Smith's sexy hit "Jealous"!

Don't know who Kim is? That's understandable, I guess. He released his first single this month, and it has been on my mind ever since. I have always love independent artists, especially when they are quality acts. He is Australian and sexy. What more could you ask for? Maybe a sexy song? Well then get a load of "Jealous".

This song is about exactly what you'd think it is about -- being a complete jealous bitch. Ok, maybe "bitch" is a bit too far, but it is very relatable. One can assume that the song is about an unrequited love (it never comes out and explicitly says so), due to him saying he is jealous of all the other boys in your life. He would even like to just be a fling with you, but you ignore him.

Why would anyone ever ignore Kim? I mean he is buck naked in his new music video, and with that body and that mug, whoever this person is ignoring him must be messed up in the head. I mean just check him out.



You can grab the single for yourselves on iTunes.

RuPaul's Drag Race Recap - Drama Queens

It's back! It's finally back. Just one Monday without a new episode of Drag Race was too much to bear. I have to see all those girls I can't stand go home! Of course there is drama, but I'm in it for the fashion and glamor. Ok, I lied. I love that drama. Well the non-manufactured drama.

Drag Race Season Five Winner LEAKED [April Fools]

That's right. You heard it here first. Drag Race's queen has been leaked to the internet. How do I know for sure? I true gentleman never reveals his sources, but I can tell you that this is pretty concrete. The winner is...

Serena ChaCha!

Before you cal me a liar, let me let you in on what happens. Next week's episode is the makeover episode famous for bringing back an eliminated queen to try her luck again. This time, the judges for some odd reason felt that Serena, famous for having some of the most harped on runway looks of all time, needed a second shot. And she brought it.

Not only does she win the makeover challenge by turning her gay vet into a bedazzled sight to behold, she also goes on to win yet another challenge landing her in the top three. She claims to have learned form her mistakes and trained harder at her craft than Shangela in the few short weeks she was absent.

"She just didn't give up," says my source who wishes to remain anonymous. "She stayed in California instead of going home and perfected her look. She kept in touch with Michelle [Santino to this day doens't like her] and kept her updated. As a leap of faith, Michelle stuck out her neck for her and got her back. Sometimes having friends in high places can pay off!"

Let it be known that today, April 1st, 2013, I GaoSalad got the biggest scoop of the year!

Also, April Fools.