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Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Below Deck Season 3 Episode 5 [Review]

While I am still coming to terms with the fact that I will not have sexy cast member Don to amuse me any longer, I must continue on with my reviews. I hereby promise to remain diligent in my unbiased* opinions of everyone on board, and chronicle their marvelous adventures**. I hope that you all continue reading my reviews and love me forever***.

*: Opinions may be more biased than previously stated
**: Adventures may be less marvelous than previously stated
***: I don't care, to be honest.

So let's get started!



In case you forgot, the past episode or so has been incredibly dramatic. From Eddie fighting with his girlfriend, to Rocky and Emile's bad date, to Don the hottie leaving. Everyone seems to be feeling the aftermath of that crazy charter. They were chilling in the lounge area, talking about the new deck hand. Kate swindled Connie into rooming with her so she doesn't have to risk not getting along with the new guy.

On the other side of the boat, we had to deal with Emile and Rocky. Apparently Rocky hated their date (as you may recall I kind of yawned my way through that part last week) and she is totally over her crush on Emile. I'm glad someone sees through him. He's not cute, and he's not charming. He says douchey things all the time, making him a no go. Still blind to everything around him, Emile talked with Leon about the situation, telling him he plans on going to California to meet Rocky's family. Kid, get a clue. I have a bad feeling about this guy.

Later that night, Captain Lee called a meeting between the yacht heads to discuss the new charter guest. It didn't take long for Kate to find another issue with Leon, who wanted to make beef cheeks again. She also was pretty distraught that they were going to have bad weather. That translated into an easy charter for the deckhands, and a miserable one for the stews. Unfortunately it's not something they can control, and Kate and Amy will just have to deal.

In a strange turn of events, we get a bit of insight into Leon's personal life. He apparently has several young children (I don't recall him giving an exact number) and is a bit of a family man. That's heart warming, as the show mostly shows his hardened or mean side. The segment was short, but it left me with a much better feeling about Leon than the show has presented so far.


Before long, the guests are headed down the dock, and everyone seemed a bit uneasy. It was cold and windy, and nobody really looked happy to be there. Regardless, they had to slap on some smiles for the guests. From the gate, there are issues with the guests requesting alcohol they didn't bother to get (as Kate didn't see it as important), and they had some issues getting out of the dock, as usual. This is becoming a bit routine.

To be honest, these guests were awful. All they did was complain and I couldn't stand them what so ever. They really wanted their 1941 tequila. If you want something rare or hard to get, you probably shouldn't expect or take for granted that it will be there. This is why I believe Stassi (Vanderpump Rules) is my spirit animal. "Rich people annoy me."

In the midst of a Ronny-psycho-meltdown, the new deckhand arrives. His name is Dane and he was not as cute as they were building him up to be. We used to have Don, the sexiest man ever, and now we have Dane, a scrawny odd looking long haired guy. He gets acquainted with the crew very quickly, and of course both Amy and Kate were all over him. I was hoping that he would be a bit hotter, but alas, we get what we can get, I guess. Last to meet him was Rocky, who also was all over that. I smell conflict with Emile coming up very shortly.


This episode wasn't short on it's Kate/Leon drama either. Leon started cooking while the guests were off boat, and Kate flipped. These two are constantly fighting over something or another. But they didn't have too much time to argue over it, because the guests returned quickly. They did, in fact, eat off boat and only want a cheese plate for a snack. Ouch. Score one for Kate, I guess.

Apparently, however, this new deck hand is no smarter than Don. He actually made the same mistake as Don, trying to get in the hot tub with some of the guests. Luckily for him, Emile caught him before he made the job-destroying mistake, and said he would keep it a secret from the Captain for now. Hopefully we don't lose another deckhand this season. He didn't, however, promise to keep it secret from Eddie and Kate, whom he went directly to tell them. That was a bit below the belt. Eddie did give him a bit of a talking to. Oh well.


Fast forward to the last night of the charter and Kate still didn't have their tequila on boat. That will probably cost them their tip, to be honest. Due to the weather, they had to stay inside, so they made a game night out of it. To be honest, it looked very tacky with all the streamers and decorations, but it seemed to go pretty well. That was a total surprise, but due to how badly the charter had gone so far, it was about time they had a good night.

Mid-game, a boat arrived with a special delivery for Kate and the guests. Surprise -- it was the tequila they wanted on day one. Looks like they saved their tip after all. The guest was very happy with the surprise and the party got even better for them. It ended up being not-so-bad of a charter after all.

Dane was understandably nervous with his first docking with the new boat. As usual, they tried to show drama with docking, but due to my little knowledge of boating, I had no idea what was going on, really. He compensated this by unwinding with Rocky, giving her a bit of a foot massage. He gave her mixed messages about whether he was taken or not, which isn't good on a boat full of hot people.

At the meeting, they found out that their tip was bigger than they had gotten in a long while. Good for them, turning a disaster into a positive. After a heart-to-heart between Captain Lee and Eddie, as well as an awkward date between Rocky and Emile (right after she set her eyes on Dane), the episode wraps up. How dramatic!

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