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Thursday, July 4, 2013

Reality TV Review: RHNJ Season Five Episode 5

This show stresses me the hell out. No joke. Sometimes these people's lives just make me that upset. Why is it so hard to just make up and be a family. Well except Jacqueline, who is now crazy and nowhere near my favorite. Also I like Caroline again. These are the days of our lives in New Jersey. Let's see what Episode Five had in store.




We start off with Melissa in a clip of her talking to her daughter about her upcoming book. It was cute and sweet to see her explain things to her in simple terms. Of course Joe comes home pissed off and ready to gossip. I swear he's like another housewife. They usher the kid out of the room, who hides by the door to listen.

Joe lays in about how she acts like nothing happened. And then Melissa drops the bombshell that she really did tweet about Teresa's bankruptcy. He called her out for attacking his sister, which was a huge weird swap around for them. He finally stood up for Teresa. It's like some weirdo twilight zone here.

Teresa has her daughters take Soccer lessons. This is only a ruse for her and her husband to talk about her brother. Oh lawdy. Does these people ever just have a normal day? Teresa's Joe compared him to Napoleon. It was odd to hear him say something that was not only correct, but intelligent. Good job Joe. Claps for you.

Also Teresa kicked her kid in the face with a soccer ball. What?

We are treated to a Jacqueline scene. Thank god that Caroline and Kathy are there or else I'd be bored out of my skull. Rosie also shows up to join the posse. Her friends are taking her out to get some pampering to take her mind off the kids.

The weird thing is that Teresa calls Caroline during this event. She goes out of the room to talk on the phone, and they actually have a conversation. She suggests the siblings get professional help. They tried that last year. That didn't work. Caroline decides to step out of the situation. She says she's in a good place with Teresa, but doesn't want to re-invovle herself.

Caroline brings up Teresa to the others LIKE AN IDIOT. They all pretty much hate her, so it obviously dampened the mood. Jacqueline acts like a child, and Caroline immediately gives a tell all of the situation. Why is she doing this? It wasn't her business to tell the others. It was Teresa's. But they go on gossiping, of course. This scene made me a little sick. At least Kathy kept it quiet and didn't interject. Rosie had a bit to say, of course.

Kathy's scene is about her selling her deserts. She's selling something I can't spell so I'm not going to try. Her and Rich argue over the box they will come in. He wants to go cheap, and she wants to go fancy. Kathy is finally standing up for herself, even if the situation is kind of stupid.

We get another treat of Caroline and her sons. Anyone else notice that their homo-bestfriend has been absent from this season. Where the hell did he go? Anyway, they go into what kind of girls the sons should date, and they pretty much say they need to find women like their mother.

Props to the kids for talking about blow jobs in front of their mom.

Rosie meets up with Joe. They immediately start up with talking about girls and sex. We learn far too much about Rosie's sex life for our own good. We are treated to some interview scenes of Rosie with some serious makeup going on. She can be a cutie when she tries. Six years? Girl dress like that more and you'll get some!

They, of course, start into talking about Teresa quickly. She is actually for the two of them getting back together. As much as she doesn't like Teresa, she's also gunning for them to get back together. It's all for their parents. Joe wants her to come clean with everything and admit she's wrong. They are both so damn stubborn. It's really annoying.

Oh God more Jacqueline. She's working with her son again. These scenes are not only hard to watch because I don't particularly find her to be a good person, but also because even though I don't like her on the show, I feel for her going through such a difficult situation. Her son is getting frustrated with the therapy and hitting himself, which sends her into a panic. I'll add this to the list of reasons why this show stresses me out.

Rich surprises Kathy by taking her to a fully equipped commercial kitchen to help start up her business. He gave her a place away from him so that she could grow on her own. He totally saved himself, or so we thought. Kathy seemed to be upset when this should be a great thing. She wanted to be involved in the decision. I usually side with Kathy, but this time, I'm on Rich's side. This was a great present, and she's not even into it one bit. Boo, Kathy. Love you, but this is not the best light for you.

Teresa is now in front of the camera, blogging. She said people say she doesn't write her own stuff, so she wanted to be sure and get a shot or two of her on the computer. Next we'll see her cooking to prove that.

Next up Rosie calls Teresa to try and work things out. She says they won't fight, which is the biggest lie this season. The promos already ruined that. Anyway, she agrees to meet, much to her own dismay.

Cut to another promo of them fighting. Lie's a lie.

Oh yeah Melissa is still on this show. We haven't seen her since the first segment. Her siblings come over to give her pictures for her book. Is this book coming out soon? Because they are hyping the hell out of it. At least Teresa's book was just a plot device instead of the whole point of her current storyline.

Anyway, she brings up her dad to her mother and asks if she knew he cheated. She said she never caught him but suspected. She wanted to tell her family about it so they wouldn't be mad when they saw it in print. Her mother seemed upset and obviously didn't want it printed, but then again, it's her life and her dirty laundry so who wouldn't want to?

Kathy and Rich are still fighting. She wants to be able to make some decisions where Rich is used to being the one that makes everything get rolling. Rich says he's doing it for her because he knows best, but all she's seeing is that she's not being involved. "I want my opinion to matter to you" is one of the most honest things I've ever seen. She said she doesn't know if she can take being married any more, and leaves the interview crying. No, baby Kathy. I love you.

We get our penultimate scene which will take up the last ten or so minutes of the episode. They always gotta end with a fight. Things start off slowly with a drink, and Rosie rams right in as soon as she sits down.  She says that she's angry that she can't go see Teresa's dad. Kathy apologized, and Teresa is provoking the bear by calling her sister out over and over.

Rosie starts screaming and beating the table. Once again, people are making Teresa look sane, which is making me lose my shit. Last year she was the psycho everyone turned against and now she's the most sane person in the room almost no matter where she goes. What the hell? Editing? Or is this the way it really is?

Anyway, Rosie calms down and starts to have a conversation with her about her brother. She brings up a good point that everyone can talk about her hubby poorly, but she can't talk about Melissa. I mean she shouldn't but the double standard is stupid. She tells Rosie that she wants to do the healing bit with her brother and Rosie says the whole family should go. Looks like we got our "vacation arc" for this season coming up. Well probably the first one.

In the preview shows Jacqueline going insane. Go figure. Next week will be fun.

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