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Monday, December 3, 2012

Drag Race Five Meet The Queens - GaoSalad Edition

It's that time of year again, hunties. Time for us to watch the casting interviews for the new queens for RuPaul's Drag Race and read them from top to bottom. I am a little late to the game this year, but I wanted to be sure I knew exactly what I wanted. Sometimes I get bitchy, other times I get reminiscent, but I promise that there will be no more Shangela-in-a-box jokes. Wait, I can't make that promise. Anyway, check out my opinions on the fourteen queens for season five!


Alaska
Ok, I'm not trying to throw shade (I know this bitch is pretty popular) but does anybody else find it really suspicious that she's tried out for Drag Race year after year and failed each time, yet her boyfriend becomes an icon and suddenly she's loved by thousands? Hmmm. Anyway, as for the interview, Alaska comes off sounding batshit insane talking about being an alien. She didn't look near as busted as some of the queens last season, but she's a bit too cray cray for my liking. Who knows, maybe she will surprise me.

Alyssa Edwards
The one everyone is calling a Theresa look alike from Real Housewives of Jersey Shore, and I can see why, Alyssa impresses with her looks from the get-go. Let's hope she's a whole lot less crazy than Theresa. This girl may look like a Jersey girl, but she's straight out of Texas. She spends most of her time talking about her family, making her interview a bit boring to most people. Hey, at least she looks fierce doing so.

Coco Montrese
This one reminds me of Dida a lot -- not the Dida I initially hated, but the Dida I came to love over the course of season four. This girl is serving some fish on a platter. She was very intense without being over the top while talking about herself, which made me really like her. She mentions liking to sing, which means we can expect a single from her coming out asap. She has a catchphrase "Oh no, its a compliment." apparently, and she likes to go bald. Bitch, lemme see that wigless look!

Detox
We all know her as Willam's friend, but who really is Detox? Her makeup is atrocious in this, and her dress is not flattering to her what so ever. She also is a bit over the top crazy, which is starting to concern me here. She also says she's high fashion, which I haven't seen as of yet. She is very self centered, which could end her up being one of my favorites, but I am not feeling this interview what so ever.

Honey Mahogany
Finally a queen from San Fran! It's about damn time. Too bad the first wasn't Mama Pollo. She looks gorgeous and has some amazing hair in this look. She says her name comes from the makeup she wore when she first started, which is kind of amusing. She talks about how different the SF queens are from the rest of the world, which is true, but she seems pretty unique. She even gives us a taste of her singing voice -- to which she's already announced her debut single. Damn and the show ain't even started yet!

Lineysha Sparx
Our first Puerto Rican queen of the season! These bitches always look fierce, but as shown last season, Ru isn't giving any of them free passes. Her English is pretty bad -- like Yara level bad. The entire interview was hard to understand, but I'm not sure if it was her English, or if I was distracted by how amazing she looked. She better go far in this competition, because she looks fierce and I can't wait to see more of her looks.

Penny Tration
This girl won the fan pick for the show, otherwise I'm not sure she would have made the cut. It looks like they were going for pur fish this season, and that is far from what she is serving us. Her makeup looks bad, her hair looks bad, and I'm just not feeling it. She claims to be the big funny one, but I wasn't laughing. It's a shame.

Ivy Winters
This was one of my top picks based on the photos released prior to the interviews. She's not too camp and not to fish looking, and t hat colorful dress is giving me everything. Her laugh is a bit annoying. I am really feeling her, but I'm not sure how far she will go in the competition, especially with some of the bigger names in the show already. She does have being a costume designer going for her though, that is if they go back to the season three sewing madness challenges.

Jade Jolie
This queen is named Jade Jolie (no relation). Her name is from Mortal Kombat. Let me do a double take. From afar she looks cute, but up close, she doesn't look as polished. Her voice sounds like she may be related to Tatiana, which is not a good thing. She talks A LOT, which got on my nerves by the end of the two minute interview. Not sure if I can stand to see her for a full hour.

Jinkx Monsoon
She may not look super polished like the rest of these fishy bitches, but she is truly funny -- like Pandora Boxx level funny. She's also got some Tammie level crazy going on, too, but not insane. I love the character she has put on, and if she goes home first all hell will break loose. Can we get a camp queen to the end for once? She could be the one to take it there. Get ready bitches, cause it's Monsoon Season!

Roxxxy Andrews
That bitch has a lot of x's in her name. She has some of the biggest hair I've ever seen! She makes it quite clear she doesn't do porn, which is questionable to say the least. She has a good sense of humor, and has a good flare for accessories. I definitely want to see more of her.

Monica Beverly Hillz
I know a queen named Beverly Hillz already, so this girl is going to need to impress to get on my good side -- to which she doesn't. She looks busted, and has the worst piercing combo I've ever seen. Her dress is bad and her hair is bad. This one is probably my least favorite queen for this season, especially since she is calling other queens busted. That being said, given the results of last season, having the most busted girls stay so long, I expect her to go far.

Serena Chacha
Gotta give love to a gal who accepted my friend request on Facebook! Holla! In the face she reminds me of Ongina. I'm not digging the hair, but I love the androgyny of her outfit, and the fact that shes one of the few queens not wearing a breast plate. She seems very personable, and the small outtake towards the end where she asks if she was doing the interview right was hysterical. Definitely one of my top picks!

Vivienne Pinay
My favorite queen based on the pictures was the last to get an interview (they are alphabetical, at least). I always fall in love with the Asian queens. She seems like one of the most polished girls this seasons, and she comes across as a very nice person. She says she's not been doing drag long, but this girl ain't no Shangela. She also confesses that she is very inspired by Juju, which is pretty obvious, too. 

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