Taking Over The Universe: 4 Times Video Review

Returning by popular demand (or rather, by my own demand because I loved it last time) is the continuing saga of Koda Kumi's new quadruple A-side single "4 Times" and its ridiculous music videos. Part two is all about the sappy love song "In The Air". The song itself is a really nice change of pace from the rather dirty single, but the video is another story. This is definitely not the most amazing thing on the planet, nor the best of the four, but I know how to make it work! Let's get it on, shall we?

(Warning: A lot of pictures under the cut)

This video is known to the Kumi fans as the "uneventful" music video. I can see why, too. Sure, it has a plot and things happen, but it is kind of boring. Especially when you put it up against the high energy of "Poppin' Love Cocktail" or the lesbian sex in "KO-SO-KO-SO" (We'll get to that later), it just doesn't hold up as well. All that really takes place is Koda Kumi walking around her house in different white outfits singing her song.

That's pretty much it.

The general story is that she wakes up to find a note on the refrigerator from her man saying he loves her and will be back or some crap. I don't know. Anyway, she decides to lounge around the house all day waiting for him. This wouldn't be bad if she actually did something, but all she really does is lay on the couch singing.

Watering the flowers does not count as eventful.

This leads me to my first complaint. We never really get a clear picture of her boyfriend. He is always obscured by some object or a glare. Is she embarrassed of him? From what I can tell, she should be, as he looks like a Jonas brother. I would understand if we got a payoff in the end and it turned out to be some crazy hot guy or a celebrity, but really, he is kept a secret the whole video. What's the point of even having him in it at all?

Joe Jonas?

Speaking of glares, there are a lot of them. Half of the video looks like it was filmed with clear kitchen wrap over the lens. No, Japanese producers, this doesn't give your video a cool effect. It doesn't make it feel more serene or lighthearted. It's annoying. Nine out of ten people are going to watch this video because Koda Kumi is hot. Hell, that's one of the main reasons I watched the whole thing. We want to see her, not a foggy silhouette of her.

If I have to squint to see you, it's not worth it.

Back to the story (or what little of it is there), she decides that her mayun deserves a special dinner to show him how amazing he is, and probably to cover up that she is ashamed to be seen on even a single non-glared frame with him. She makes some kind of lemon soup. No, I'm not kidding. She is shown cutting up a lemon, and then she is shown taste testing a soup. She obviously is an amazing cook.

"Needs more lime."

She sets up a nice sit down dinner for her lover, and gets all dolled up. I guess the moral of this video is that even if you are a pop diva, you still better make your man a home cooked meal. Does this further the stereotype of women in the kitchen? Nah. She spends a lot of time on the couch too.

I'd like to sit on that. Err, the couch!

In the end, the mystery man returns home with a few surprises for her. She answers the door and smiles at him. And that's it. No, really. They don't show her opening her present. They don't show the guy disgusted by the horrible soup. Nothing. She just opens the door and is super happy to see him. Once again, what a let down.

In case you missed the spoiler earlier, she dumps him.

The final moments of the video are spent with Koda awkwardly staring the camera down and smiling. I wasn't sure if she was trying to look cute or just trying to creep me the hell out. She only accomplished one of those. I'll let you figure out which one.