Drag U Tue - Bringing Sexy Back

Hello and welcome to the first installment of my weekly review on my second favorite television show -- only second to the wonderful Drag Race we've all come to love. Drag U is an uplifting show where previous Drag Race contestants come back to mentor biological women and give them the fierceness of drag queens, boosting their self esteem as well as their sex lives. Without further ado, I present to you, Drag U Tue: Episode One.

In this installment of Drag U, we are shown three women who view themselves as ugly. To correct this injustice, three certified drag professors are sent in. Lisa, an excessively negative housewife, is given to the care of Shannel. Rhonda, a diva turned housewife and mother, was given Manila to guide her. Denise, a woman afraid to look at herself in the mirror, was granted the stunning vixen Raven. Let's just say the three of them had their work cut out for them.

Returning from season one is the "new and improved" Dragulator, giving the girls their own drag names and looks. Lisa was named Rai'zon Darasi; Rhonda as Summer Night; Denise as Cha Cha Mizrahi. The looks weren't as impressive as those seen on season one, but then again I am told I'm too cynical when it comes to fashion. Who knew? I have to say, though, I was delighted to see that the "commence dragulation" bit was left in. RuPaul's fro is FIERCE! I can't help but love it.

The challenge for the episode seemed pretty simple. As the theme of the episode was to bring the sexiness back to their marriages, they were to create sexy voicemails for their husbands. Lisa was up first, sounding like some kind of robot. It was a little freaky. Denise bribed her husband for sex by saying he could play video games later (to which Raven suggested she simply play with his joystick). And then there was Rhonda... Poor, poor Rhonda. She said she wanted to play with her husbands "diesel mangina".

Yeah. Diesel. Mangina. I have no idea what happened there, or what that lady thinks a mangina is, but I'm quite certain she is confusing that with a penis. Anywho, despite her mixup in diction (hah!), she did do the best, keeping her sexy voice up and sharing her, however bizarre, fantasies like Dean of Drag Lady Bunny suggested to them.

The women had heart to heart talks with their professors. Most of it was your general "you know you are hot in there grrl" talk. A big surprise did come when I heard Shannel complimenting someone other than herself. Yeah. I know. Let me give you a second to take that all in. Ms. All About Me Shannel actually showed her kinder side by letting Lisa know she was a really beautiful woman and that her ex husband was wrong for treating her the way she did. It seems my rather negative views on Shannel may change in the future -- that is if this is a more than once in a lifetime thing. Manila's pep talk involved her favorite sex positions ("The Social Network" and "Never Ending Pasta Dinner"), and Raven went all "Mommy Dearest" on Denise. Lets just say these gals are a strange bunch.

My biggest "oh no" moment had little to do with manginas. It was more focused on my lovely Manila. During the dance lesson for the girls, the drag professors decided to take over and show them how it is done, and tragically, Manila fell hard on her butt. I was pretty shocked. From what I've seen, Ms. Luzon knows how to get down. I guess everyone messes up sometimes. I just hope she is OK.

Finally, the down in the dumps housewives get all dolled up and go stroll out for everyone to gawk at them. Their looks really didn't impress me too much. I figured with this being the premier episode they would go full out and make everything a spectacle but I was mistaken. Lisa turned out to look like a Shannel clone, again, no shock there. Rhonda looked like a RuPaul impersonator and Denise looked, well, quite good. She had the whole cha cha diva tutu going on and her ponytail was totally fab. I was thrown back a bit to learn that the grading system had been dropped. Season one was big at giving the girls their Drag Point Average and that was how the winner was chosen. Now, the judges just pick their favorite in a collaboration. Lisa ended up winning, much to my dismay. I wanted Denise to win. I felt like she had the best transformation and the best attitude adjustment. Oh well, I guess.

A new, and rather odd, feature of Drag U are pre-commercial segments. The first one was a segment featuring Jujubee from season one giving you things you can do with old panty hos. Yeah. It was even in the really awkward infomercial style. The second was "A Word With RuPaul" wherein he said a rather strange word that I really couldn't understand well enough to type -- Hah! So all in all this was a really good way to start the Drag U season. And with that I bid farewell. Until next time, my friends. I leave you with this: Jujubee attempting to rob a bank with panty hos.